Why Do We Care About Weight?
December 19th, 2008Every once in a while, I read something that stops me in my tracks.
Like today, I saw a fascinating article in The Consumerist describing the experience of a woman named Amanda, who went to a well-known department store seeking a cocktail dress in a larger size. The article contains Amanda’s description of what happened when she found nothing in her size and asked for help from a sales associate, Pam.
Pam: It’s a demographic thing, ma’am. We do not carry plus sizes of formal wear or business suits. We find, demographically speaking, that most of our upscale clientele is smaller, so we have… just the basics for our plus sized customers… The demographics tell us that plus sized women just don’t need social wear.
Me: …So what you are saying then is that larger women don’t have good jobs and don’t go to parties.?
Pam: That’s correct, ma’am.
Setting aside the fact that my professional experience totally belies Pam’s claims, it seems clear that she rudely parroted some inside information to Amanda.
What I find most distressing, though, is Pam’s interpretation of that data: that people who require more upscale clothing have greater means, which gives them more control over issues like weight, and that no one with that control would ever choose to wear a size larger than 12. Wow. That’s a lot of assumptions.
Just why would anyone assign so much importance to weight?
It might have something to do with the way we obsess over it.
For example, I have a truly beautiful friend who wears size 18-20. She is a smart, interesting person with incredible taste, and I’ve never known her to diet. In fact, I can think of few people who seem more happy with themselves. But guess how she’s invariably described? As a “wonderful woman with such a pretty face” or “gorgeous skin” or “lovely eyes”. There’s always an asterisk next to her beauty, as in “She’d be gorgeous if…” which is only a step removed from “Why can’t she just lose the weight?” Well, maybe she doesn’t want to.
And think about the candid yet apologetic way Oprah is talking about her weight gain. Health concerns aside, why is she apologizing? What if she never regains her tenuous hold on that coveted slimness? Will we assume she is not driven, not disciplined? Are you kidding me? Oprah?!
This is serious business because if extra pounds can get the best of someone as stunningly accomplished as she is, what hope do the rest of us have for conquering the tyranny of the scale?
So here’s one thing I’m going to try. The next time I notice someone has gained weight, I’m not going to jump to conclusions about it. And if I start thinking, “Maybe she’s got a thyroid condition…” or “I wonder if her marriage is okay,” I’ll balance it out with other thoughts. Fun ones like, “Maybe she’s been on vacation,” or “She must have a new love who is also a Cordon Bleu chef,” or “Good for her! She likes to eat.”
Sadly, though, I know it will take much more than that to get around my own fat fallacies …
So what do you think? What kinds of assumptions do you make about other people based on weight? Does your own self image fluctuate with the numbers on the scale? And most importantly, where did all this insanity begin?

















